Decision, Decisions...

Oh how ironic it becomes when you feel you've made an important decision and then all of a sudden all the factors that lead you to that decision totally change and you're back to square one.

This whole where is Cody going to go to law school charade is wearing on me.  We thought we had made a decision.  Utah it was.  And then, as the universe plans, everything changes.  Cody, the next day, got a phone call from ASU stating they wanted to offer him $20,000 the first year and $10,000 the second year to go to their school. 

Awesome.  No really, it is totally awesome.  It just makes the decision that much harder. Arizona as it stands still will cost just a little bit more money the first year, but it's close enough that it pulls on Cody's heart strings a lot since it's where he really wants to go.

It's where I really wanted to go also until a few days after that call.  I started thinking about actually packing up and moving to Arizona.  And I started freaking out.  Where will we live?  Will we have enough money to afford this?  How much money do I have to pay my work for the contract I signed and will be breaking?  Will I be able to find a job there?  What do we do if I can't find a job since Cody can't work during school?  How will leaving all of my family and friends behind feel?  Am I going to be totally alone with knowing no one and Cody having to spend so much time at school?  Ya, I'm freaking out.

I didn't realize this decision was as big of a decision as it really is.  I thought it was going to be all fun and games picking where to live for the next three years.  So far, it's not very fun.  Some days it's put strain on Cody and I as we try to discuss logically instead of over emotionally how we both feel.  He says prayers.  I say prayers.  We say prayers together.

We have to decide by April 30th.  That's when ASU needs to know for their scholarship offer.  I think my biggest fear is my job.  I got my first RN job in January and had to sign a year contract.  If I break it, I have to pay a whole lot of money.  But even worse, I'm scared about being able to find an RN job in Arizona.  Without a full year worth of experience, many people don't want to hire you.  The reason I got hired here in Utah is because I worked for the same company as a CNA for many years.  What do I have going for me as the newbie from a different state and very little experience? 

I feel bad because I know Cody fully has his heart set on Arizona.  He's been talking about living there for months and months.  Now that that is a real possibility, there's nothing else on his mind.  I've been excited about a lot of it too and trying to repress some of the fears I feel about it, but there's only so long I can hold those fears in. 

I want to do what's best for us.  What is the best school for Cody to go to?  Where is the best place for us to live the first three years of our marriage?  What kind of impact will both places have on our relationship, families, jobs, and lives in general?  I wish I knew the answers to all of this.  I guess praying and praying more is on the adgenda coming here soon. 

I'm very grateful to be able to spend so much time with my husband.  I love him more than I have words to say.  All these huge decisions are just a reality check of being married.  "Married" can be hard sometimes, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world.  Things will work out.  We will figure out what/where is best for us.  And whatever we decide, I know we will love.

A little flash of our week this week...

We went to Ikea and found a new bedframe for our new memory foam mattress.  Cody mostly put it together because the first part of the bed I tried to help with, I broke.  But we totally love the bed, especially the memory foam and especially king sizeeee.



And the dogs probably love the bed as much as we do.



Cody got rear ended by a police officer.  A dog ran out into the street and let just say... the cop may have been following a little too closely.